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Some time ago, I wrote about my curiosity regarding the limited study of LSD's potential as a treatment for various conditions. Since then, I've discovered that significant research has indeed been conducted in this field. Alongside substances like psilocybin found in mushrooms and DMT, psychedelics are emerging as valuable tools for treating a diverse range of issues, such as PTSD and depression. The existence of institutions like the Johns Hopkins Center for Psychedelic and Consciousness Research deeply impressed me, as I wasn't aware such facilities existed. For instance, mushrooms played a crucial role in helping me quit smoking, a benefit I'm sure countless others have experienced as well. Although I haven't personally tried Ibogaine, it's recognized as a potent psychedelic that has aided thousands in overcoming addictions of various kinds. Additionally, it's worth noting that substances like Ketamine and MDMA, technically considered psychedelics, are being utilized to treat a wide spectrum of conditions. Surprisingly, despite the numerous potential therapeutic benefits, these substances remain illegal in the United States. This legal stance contrasts starkly with their historical significance, as cultures worldwide have revered them for centuries, often referring to them as "gifts from the divine." Strangely, the legal penalties for possessing LSD can exceed those for more serious offenses, such as homicide. Some of these substances have existed for millennia, and there's a theory that they played a role in human evolution – the intriguing "stoned ape theory" is too long to discuss but worth looking into, and there's also some evidence that suggests that our ancestors may have consumed substances like Ergot-infused wine while conceiving many of the principles that influence our lives today. These substances might have contributed to the development of various religious beliefs, as well. Those who have experienced high doses can attest to a profound sense of connection with a higher power of some form. Although I could delve into this topic extensively, I'm just a dopey guy with brain damage. Nonetheless, these substances have had a positive impact on my life, and I've exercised moderation, often spacing out my usage by months. It's important to highlight that both mushrooms and LSD aren't inherently addictive, and when approached responsibly, they pose fewer risks than substances like alcohol and tobacco. It's about time that society breaks free from the misinformation propagated by the government and fully utilizes these substances as they were originally intended. They have the potential to provide immense benefits, and it's essential that we approach this topic with an open mind, understanding, and careful consideration. Actually, this was all hypothetical as I would never ingest or possess an illegal substance.

Marijuana feels like a controversial topic, but it shouldn't be. I smoked before I had a stroke, but it affects me differently now. It acts kinda like Adderall... I can concentrate much more when I smoke, and I don't get any work done when I don't smoke. The theory that weed makes you lazy doesn't apply to me. There seems to be a broader acceptance of it these days, and for good reason - it should've never been illegal. Harry Anslinger is one of the main reasons why, and it's a very interesting story if you're not familiar. It basically has to do with selling paper. I could go on and on about it, but I feel like a lot of people already feel similarly. I would hope that by now, society at large would realize that although you can abuse it, there are so many ways that Marijuana can be beneficial.

Around 2013 financial stability became a problem, so I had to find a job. People had often told me that I would be a great bartender, so I decided to start as a server and work my way up. A friend of mine owned and operated a restaurant that was quite popular, and I could say on my resume that I worked there (sketchy, but I had to get in somehow). Another friend of mine put in a good word for me, and I wound up getting a job at Marathon Grill, on Rittenhouse Square in Philadelphia. I somehow convinced the managers that I knew what I was doing (although they must've had their suspicions). Meanwhile, I didn't have a clue. I feel bad for the people that had to train me. They had to know it was my first rodeo. When you walk behind someone, say "behind". That's something basic that every server should know. Someone had to teach me that, and supposedly I'd worked in a nice restaurant? It wasn't believable if you looked closely. I learned quickly, though. I had to. They put me on the busiest shifts available. Why not? I was meant to know what I was doing. I tried my best not to give away that I didn't. My resume said that I had bartending experience, so they put me behind the bar as well. There were times when someone ordered a drink, I'd slink out of view and look up the recipe on my phone. In the early days that happened a lot, but like I said I learned quickly. Before long, I became pretty good at handling the stress of things like changing an ice bin in the middle of the dinner rush because a glass broke nearby. Before long, most of the servers that worked there left and I was the veteran. A couple of years later, I got a job at a place called El Camino Real. It was located in a super trendy part of the city, much closer to my house. The people that worked there were super cool... some were in bands, and others were photographers, journalists, and artists of different kinds... I guess it would be appropriate to call them hipsters but I don't like that word. Drinking started to become a problem. At one point I was bringing a bottle of tequila to work with me and between myself and the staff, it was gone by the end of the night. I drank most of it. A group of 3 or 4 people didn't tip me one night and apparently, I went off on them and made a big scene. Then I went immediately to the server's station and did a shot. People had to tell me what happened, I didn't remember. I got fired for that, but those who witnessed it said it was epic, so I guess it was worth it. After spending some time at another pretty cool restaurant, I wound up working at a place called Good Dog Bar. I'd been there plenty of times over the years and loved it, but I didn't realize it was one of the best spots in the city. I'm biased obviously, but I still say they make one of the best burgers around. The people that I worked with were awesome, for the most part. It was like a dysfunctional little family of sorts. I managed to get my drinking in check as well. Usually, it was so busy that I couldn't drink. The owners were cool as well, and I worked at another place across town that they ran. I was pretty good at the job, I was making some money, and the overall experience was great. I worked at Good Dog Bar for a couple of years waiting tables and bartending at the upstairs bar. Large groups of people, organized for totally random reasons, would turn up with no warning. Being in the middle of downtown Philadelphia, that was no surprise. The staff, food, drinks, and overall vibe of the place were great, as well - so that doesn't hurt. Things were going great. They had to close for a few weeks due to renovations. During that time I had a stroke and working there was no longer possible. The owners and multiple people that worked there came to visit me in the hospital and rehab. I even wound up living with the owners after I had a stroke. They're awesome human beings. I learned a lot from my time in the service industry. I drank a lot of great alcohol, ate a lot of great food, and met so many great people. I made some long-lasting relationships, as well. I probably wouldn't be writing this if it weren't for some of them. But beyond the obvious, I'm so glad I got to take part in what I look at now as a great social learning experiment. People that go out to hang out and eat are an amazing barometer of what's going on culturally, and the people that work in the industry are great. I would go out to eat all the time, and sometimes people would say, "You work at Good Dog, right?" and give me free drinks, and were great people to get to know. I think that being part of a tight-knit community is crucial, and the service industry definitely felt like family. The people that worked in the industry know what I'm talking about.

After I had a stroke in 2017, my future seemed pretty bleak. I was living with my ex for about a year afterward, but it became clear pretty quickly that the situation wouldn't last for long. Although I'd helped pay the mortgage for years the house wasn't in my name, so I had to leave. A friend of mine said I could stay with him for a while while I worked it out, but otherwise, I didn't know where I was going to go or what I was going to do. After staying with another friend, I wound up at Beverly Gravina's house. Then she drove me to a hospital and left me, said I couldn't come back, and stole what was left of my things. And gave me no reason or warning for any of it. My friend came and got me from a hotel room that I rented with some money someone sent me, and I said to him something to the effect of "none of this would be a problem if I were dead". It wasn't the first time I thought about killing myself. But now not only had I suffered a devastating health event, but I'd also lost most of the things that brought me happiness, and I didn't know where I was going to live. In my mind, my best days were behind me. If there was a way to do it without experiencing it, I would've taken myself out. Luckily, someone very close to me rescued me, and my living situation got drastically better. Then I decided to try some LSD as part of a therapeutic experiment. I used to take it decades earlier for recreation, but now my circumstances were much different. After that ONE time, my views on a lot of things were extremely different. I would never do anything to hurt myself, no matter how bad it got. On the contrary, I've been doing a lot of things to help better my health. I exercise every day, I changed my diet drastically, I take some supplements... blah blah blah. My point is that none of this would've happened if it weren't for my experience with LSD. Granted, my situation is much better, but my mind frame has totally changed. Having the stability of knowing where I'm going to live combined with my perspective shift were both things I need. Although it seems like I talk about it all the time, I've done it maybe 5 or 6 times since my first re-visit. It can be so powerful that you can just do it once and take something from your experience that can last forever. I'm learning about so many studies and therapies being done that are so successful in treating so many different things. PTSD, depression, and anxiety are some of the big ones. People have used psychedelics to stop smoking, stop drinking, or stop using other substances like heroin. Hopefully, by 2033, psychedelics will be taken off the substance 1 drug list and be fully legalized. My way of thinking of psychedelics is that they can be used like a tool; you can build a house with a hammer, or you can smash yourself in the head with it. “Psychedelics, used responsibly and with proper caution, would be for psychiatry what the microscope is for biology and medicine or the telescope is for astronomy.” – Dr. Stanislav Grof

At around 11:30 on Sunday, Dec 18, 2022, I ate something that I think was called a pyramid. I've been told that one is about three hits of LSD. Some research into psychedelic therapy got me very interested and I decided to conduct this experiment on myself, or as close as I could. By the way, it's been about a month since I last consumed any kind of hallucinogen. After about a half hour, I put on a sleep mask and headphones and lay in bed. I tried to lay there as long as I could, which is difficult regardless, but under the effects of powerful hallucinogens, it's extremely difficult. I stayed there for about three hours and eventually I got up and watched "A Trip To Infinity" on Netflix. Then I ate two more hits of LSD and lay back down. All sorts of thoughts went through my head, the speed of which was incredible. It's hard to describe my thoughts, so I won't even try. I wasn't trying to "have a good time on Acid" or use the drug recreationally, as is the common misconception. The experience was so good for me, I believe. It's something that you can't describe. It makes you see things from a different perspective. Anyway, it's extremely rare that you just lay and think for hours on end. That has to be good for you. I strongly believe that psychedelics can open up paths in the brain and can be very beneficial in ways that nobody understands. DMT is a chemical that human beings produce naturally and because that substance is so vilified, the research into it stopped. I've learned that some scientists are doing research into it with amazing results. There's even a "Center for Psychedelic and Consciousness Research" at Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine. I didn't know. If someone could prove that I'd ingested LSD, I'd be put in a cage. That seems inhumane to me.

Waking Life is Probably the most Philosophical movie of all time. There are so many ideas to challenge the way you think about everything from religion to dreams. Also, it's a great movie to watch on psychedelics. "I had a friend once who told me the worst mistake that you can make is to think that you are alive. When really you're asleep in life's waiting room."

I heard that the Trocadero might re-open as a venue for live music. I have so many memories of that place. I saw Moby there when he was making breakbeat. I was in a DMC competition there, although I never went up because the people were so good. I played an acoustic show by myself there upstairs with Man Like Machine. There are so many other good times that I've had there. I was going there when I was around 12. My grandfather told me that it used to be a burlesque house. Even if they re-open, in this day and age I seriously doubt that kids can have as crazy of experiences as I had there. I do hope they open up again though.

I started re-watching them again, and I forgot how much I liked Flight of the Conchords. Rhymenocerous and Hiphopappotumus and Bowie's In Space are amazing, but I think this one is my favorite.

Some friends took me to see a band I'd never heard of, but they promised me I'd have fun. The band was called Gogol Bordello, and I've never had as much fun seeing a band. A girl was jumping around playing on a washboard duct-taped to her chest. There was a fiddler and an accordion player. The lead singer was going nuts. It's not really for everyday listening, but "Gypsy Punk" music, as they call it, is all about having a good time.

A friend of mine used to sell drugs. It's not the profession of choice, by any means, but it was mostly to ravers that were going to get it somewhere by any means necessary. I was hanging out with a bunch of people at his house when some guys knocked on the door. My friend thought he recognized them and let them in. Turns out they were there to rob him. They waved guns around and one of them told me to turn up the television. You needed needle-nosed pliers for this and it wasn't that easy. Eventually, they got most of us in the bathroom and tried to tie everyone up with a single telephone cord. They didn't do a very good job. I remember hiding my license and car keys under the bathmat, just in case. After the robbers forced my friend to give up whatever drugs and money he had, they were gone. My friend tried to calm us all down. "They didn't get everything", he said, and pulled out a big jar of weed. Everyone was mad at first that he didn't give it up as well. That ended quickly. The next night I was in a different house that was raided by some kind of law enforcement agency. Yeah. I hung out with some shady people.

It must've been mandatory for everyone involved to be on psychedelics at all times while filming this. Like Syd Barrett levels.

Around the time that I started dating my last girlfriend, Radiohead was playing a benefit show for Haiti in Los Angeles, across the country from us. Tickets went to the highest bidders and there weren't many. There was no way to tell how high the bids were, so you just had to guess. I'm sure a part of me wanted to show out for the girl, but I genuinely wanted to do what I could to help the situation in Haiti. Plus Radiohead. I bought two tickets for $550 a piece, plus airfare, hotel, and incidentals, but we had incredible seats at an intimate show. I'd pay for that again if I could.