I decided to make a blog on Wednesday, August 22nd, 2022. I know that mainly because my friend came over the night before, which is rare, and we drank some ciders. I had four, which was too many. By the end of the night, it was hard to walk. I somehow accumulated mystery bruises from smashing into something or another. It's frustrating to think that I used to be able to drink most people under the table and now I'm such a lightweight. Not that that's something to be proud of.
People inspired me with their enthusiasm when I posted some memories on Facebook, so I thought I'd just make a simple blog. It turned out to be way more than I intended, but I decided that I needed a web space anyway and I didn't think it'd be that difficult. It would be an understatement to say I underestimated how much work it'd be.
I'd previously divided 2 hits of acid into 8. I would've made them smaller but I got very crafty with tweezers and a magnifying glass, careful not to accidentally ingest some (which I've done), and I couldn't cut them again. I planned on taking a 1/8 a day for four days in a row, starting Wednesday. I've noticed that taking LSD causes me to concentrate more, kinda like Adderal, but without the speedy sensation like you just did some meth. This is a perfect opportunity to learn some stuff, I thought.
I woke up on Wednesday feeling kinda crappy from the night before but I'd been planning my venture for a while, so I was anxious to get a move on. After my daily breakfast routine, I dug out my stash and put one of the small pieces on my tongue. This was my first foray into using daily hallucinogenics and I didn't know what to expect. Eager to get working, I created a Wix profile. It was daunting at first and I had no idea what I was doing. Dozens of YouTube tutorials later and I was starting to get the hang of it. I realized quickly that I'd need to learn some Photoshop skills. I had to buy that too and budget for the money it'd cost me every month, which is not much as it is. I started feeling the acid's influence on me. At first, I thought it might be too much. "I can handle it", I thought. I was determined to finish my task. I usually finish what I set out to do. Memories would drift into my mind out of nowhere. In between watching cheezy YouTube tutorials and working in Wix and Photoshop, I wrote down some stuff. I wrote down a lot of stuff. I took a few days off from the intense daily exercising I'd been doing. I thought I could feel the negative impact this was having on my body. I thought I could feel my muscles diminishing. The acid was starting to affect me more. It came in waves - not too intense, but I knew it was there. I'd drift off thinking about something, and then remind myself that I had a project to get done and to meet some phantom deadline that I conjured. At one point, after staying up for so long and coming down off acid, I started to get that old cracked-out feeling that comes with that kind of behavior. After guzzling some ciders I managed to get some rest. I must've watched hundreds of tutorials and I wound up staying up for very weird hours but it's Sunday morning as I'm writing this, and though it's super hurried and I'm sure there are tons of problems, I have the bones of an early version of this thing that I'm putting out into the world, whatever it is. The LSD ex ducting neurological experiments on myself. The thought of that makes me feel like even though my brain's been through some traumatic injury, it's still capable of causing me to think about running these trials on myself. I wish a qualified therapist or somebody was guiding me through this, but there's no one available to do that, and I haven't gone crazy yet. There's still time for that though. Or maybe not.
I should probably get some sleep.
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